If I had a dollar for every time my husband sat across from a doctor and declared himself “doing great!” — I’d have a fully funded retirement and someone else paying my property tax.
Meanwhile, I’m over there wondering if I hallucinated the part where he asked me what year it was… seven times… before breakfast.
The Scene You Know All Too Well
You pack for the doctor like you’re preparing for trial:
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Notes? ✔️
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List of symptoms? ✔️
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Maybe a tiny hope that this time someone will finally see what you see every day? ✔️✔️
The doctor walks in.
Your loved one — who spent the morning asking whether this was your house — suddenly transforms into a delightful host.
Charming. Chatty. Sharp.
You watch the doctor nod enthusiastically, and you swear you can feel your eye twitch forming a permanent home on your face.
Okay… What Exactly Is Showtiming?
“Showtiming” (sometimes called showboating) is when a person living with a dementia-related illness — including Lewy Body dementia — briefly appears much more capable than they are on a daily basis.
Think of it as the brain running on backup batteries:
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It’s not intentional trickery.
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They’re not trying to make you look dramatic.
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Their brain is pulling together every last familiar expression, memory fragment, and practiced social skill to get through the moment.
It’s survival instinct meets muscle memory — and yes, it’s both fascinating and maddening.
What It Looks Like in Real Life
You may witness:
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The man who can’t find the coffee filters suddenly explaining finances “like a boss”
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The woman who struggles to dress puts on flawless lipstick when a nurse walks in
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The loved one who only speaks in short phrases suddenly telling stories from 1978
And then?
They crash. Hard.
Because that mental marathon was not free.
Why It Happens (and Why It Drives Caregivers Nuts)
Showtiming often pops up during:
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Doctor visits
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Social encounters
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Phone calls
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Surprise guests
Brains with dementia are constantly conserving energy.
These “performances” are short bursts of function — the last sparks firing because the brain senses pressure, expectations, or unfamiliar people.
The heartbreaking twist?
Doctors only see that tiny slice of seeming normalcy.
You live the entire documentary series — including deleted scenes.
How Caregivers Can Handle Showtiming Without Losing Their Minds
✔️ 1. Don’t Take It Personally
I know it feels like betrayal.
It’s not intentional — it’s neurological.
✔️ 2. Go in With Evidence
Keep a symptom log.
Jot notes throughout the week.
Take photos or short videos when safety is involved.
Not to shame — to advocate.
✔️ 3. Request Private Communication
Many medical teams:
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Accept caregiver notes through the portal
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Allow pre-visit phone updates
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Will step outside the room to talk briefly
If you’re not already listed as a caregiver contact — ask to be added.
✔️ 4. Speak Up Even in the Middle of the “Performance”
Try something neutral like:
“He’s having a really good moment right now.
Most mornings look very different. I’d like to share what the past week has been like.”
No drama needed — just truth.
✔️ 5. Remember Your Perspective Matters
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re not exaggerating.
You’re the daily witness.
Doctors see a snapshot.
You see the full movie — with director’s commentary.
Nora’s Nook Companion Resource
Showtiming Survival Sheet – Free Printable
Inside:
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Fill-in-the-blank prep sheet for appointments
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Checklist of what to observe at home
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Sample phrases when nerves or emotions take over
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A dash of encouragement in Nora’s signature style
👉 Grab it free inside Nora’s Nook
(Not subscribed? Just drop your email to unlock it!)
✨ YOU DID IT.
If you’ve ever walked out of a perfect-performance appointment ready to scream into a pillow, take a breath. You are not alone — and you are definitely not imagining things.
One day, medical systems will fully understand this phenomenon.
Until then, we advocate, we document, and yes… sometimes we mutter in the parking lot.
You’ve got this — and Nora’s cheering with a teacup.