If you walked into my house lately, you might assume one of three things:
- We’re moving.
- We’re losing a game of hide-and-seek with household objects.
- A very confused raccoon has taken over the place.
Honestly?
It’s probably closest to #2.
Because somewhere along the dementia journey, my husband stopped being able to comfortably “put things away.”
Not stubbornly.
Not lazily.
Not carelessly.
His brain simply stopped processing organization the same way it once did.
And that changes everything.
When Word Labels Stop Working
Over a year ago, I labeled his dresser drawers and closet shelves so he could find things more easily.
At first, words worked:
- Socks
- Shirts
- Underwear
Simple.
Then one day, they didn’t.
So I switched to picture labels instead — little drawings taped all over drawers and storage bins like some sort of dementia-friendly department store. Honestly, it looked a little ridiculous at first.
But dementia caregiving has a way of humbling you.
You stop asking:
“Does this look normal?”
And start asking:
“Does this reduce frustration?”
That becomes the new goal.
“If I Can’t See It, It Doesn’t Exist”
Lately, my HWLBD has become what Cas Aarssen from Clutterbug would call a “butterfly.”
He needs to SEE his belongings.
If something is tucked away inside a drawer, cabinet, basket, or closet?
It may as well have vanished into another dimension.
So now:
- important papers live on the counter
- clothing appears draped across chairs
- drawers stay partially open
- cabinets remain cracked open
- items migrate into unusual places
- and “put away” often means “lost forever”
Caregivers understand this deeply.
You spend half your day returning items to their “proper” location…
…only to discover the dementia brain no longer recognizes “proper” the same way you do.
Why Dementia Causes This
Dementia affects far more than memory.
It also impacts:
- visual processing
- sequencing
- categorization
- object recognition
- executive functioning
- organization skills
- attention
- and object permanence
The brain gradually loses the ability to mentally track where things are stored.
Closed cabinets can become confusing.
Drawers can feel overwhelming.
Too many choices create stress.
Visual reminders become essential.
To the dementia brain, visible often feels safer than hidden.
That’s why many people with dementia begin leaving items out where they can easily see them.
It is not usually intentional.
It is compensation.
The brain is adapting the best way it can.
What Sometimes Helps
Every person is different, but some caregivers find these ideas helpful:
Use Clear Containers
Seeing what is inside reduces confusion.
Switch from Word Labels to Picture Labels
Visual cues are often easier to process than reading.
Reduce Choices
Too many clothing options or storage spaces can overwhelm the brain.
Keep Things in Consistent Locations
Routine matters more than perfection.
Use Open Storage
Open baskets, visible shelving, and easy-access containers may work better than closed drawers.
Create “Landing Zones”
A basket for wallet, keys, glasses, or paperwork can reduce wandering objects.
Redefine Organized
Sometimes “organized enough” is the real victory.
The Hard Part for Caregivers
The emotional side of this can be exhausting.
Because clutter doesn’t just create visual chaos.
It creates mental fatigue.
Caregivers often become:
- the finder of lost objects
- the re-organizer
- the system creator
- the memory backup
- and the person constantly trying to maintain order in a brain disorder that naturally creates disorder
That is tiring.
Really tiring.
And sometimes the labels, bins, systems, and routines are no longer even for them.
Sometimes they are for us.
Because caregiving slowly becomes:
creating systems so exhausted people can function.
Not perfection.
Not magazine-worthy organization.
Not Pinterest.
Just fewer meltdowns.
Less frustration.
More peace.
And honestly?
That matters far more.
A Gentle Reminder
If your house now looks like:
- a daycare classroom
- a thrift store sorting room
- and a medical supply closet
all at the same time…
You are not failing.
You are adapting.
And if you’re currently holding an object wondering:
“How in the world did this end up HERE?”
I see you, friend. ❤️